Creative Fire

We're finally going this morning to get the load of wood for the winter. We've been buying it in armloads at the grocery store. Now we'll have a stack of it....

The fireplace has become an entity. When we bought the house and walked inside we knew we wanted it and we knew we wanted that fireplace. It's strange because people ask me to do stuff at night and I'm like,"Ummm, I dunno.... I think I have something going on..." Cindy asked me if I wanted to go to a hockey game VIP passes and parking and I said,"Nah, I've got something going on with Dad... maybe...," But what I was really thinking is, "Uh, no thanks I have a fireplace now." (Also.. Um, Hockey? huh-uh...) I even went out and bought new pajamas for basking in the glow...

I was talking to my brother in law Rob last week and told him about my obsession with the fireplace and he said, "I don't think we've ever used our fireplace..."... (he stops midsentence to do some recollecting for a moment like people do) "Nooo..nope, we've never used it.."

I was like, "What?" He said, "No, never." I said, "You have a fireplace you've never used?" He's like, "Never."

"But why?"

He said, "It's a mess."

20 years they've lived in that house and have never used the fireplace. Their daughter is just 18 and so inside of two years before she was born there was no deep, drive it home daddy, slick, satisfying romping in the dark in front of the fire at all?

No. Isn't that crazy? But I guess that's kind of messy too.

He said, "K, no ones ever there... D has her thing going on, the girls have theirs, It's mostly just me there and I don't want to build a fire for just me..."

They are like that though. Royce is the same way.

Speaking of Royce, he is after my laptop again. Ever since I got this he is trying to nab it. Even going so far as to buying another one to try and trade me. Nuh-uh. So he gets this program to tune the computer in his car and his newer laptop doesn't have a comport, and mine does and it so happens he needs a PC w/a comport. Sorry Charlie, you can't have my laptop. I have needed a new PCI card for months and mysteriously one comes in the mail yesterday... "Oh I bought a PCI card for your laptop...." Just for me, sure. So I said, "I'm not trading laptops." He was exasperated with me last night when I wouldn't even let him touch it to put the new card in. Finally he is him-hawing around with his and the program's still not working and finally he asks, "Can I just USE your laptop?" I went, "Um, sure."

He takes it and I lay back on my pillow and start thinking about the night before when I was in the bathtub reading this book of poetry and crying and he comes in and smiles at me and I said,"Why can't I be like a regular person?" He said, "Why would you want to be regular?" I went, "I think it would hurt less..." He said, "I wouldn't want you regular." I said, "But I wouldn't be this tortured artist type of basket case and crying in the bathtub with a book of poetry, I'd be house decorating or something..." He said, "I picked up some firewood on the way home, would you like to have a fire...?" I nodded my head and thought that sounded really good....

Oh god forgive me for being so selfish with my laptop.

(Addendum: I happily shared my laptop this morning after last night's fire and it was a warming delight ...)