Uninspired

I'm wasting too much of my creative energy at online forums. After I get home from work, or working at home I end up giving too much away and then I'm depleted for creations that matter. It is hard to pull out of the habit, that pseudo-connection that forums provide, but I think I will for awhile to see where it takes me. I had a really rough day at the shop and I could have used blogging as an outlet to compensate, but didn't ~ instead I poured myself into a what I'm coming to realize is a bottomless cup in a literal sense~ You dump yourself in and it all runs out .... It's so unsatisfying, emotionally, creatively, ...even physically it's taxing.

I have not found that to be the case with blogging.

There is a part of me that knows this is or could be read by another, but it's a consideration in only the vaguest sense so my expectations of others are nil and I am free to say what I want. That's what I like about it ~ it doesn't have to have a beginning, middle or an end and I don't have to make sense or share a complete thought, or over extend myself to be clear. I like that. And i don't have to think about punctuation because I hate commas cuz I always forget where they go.

So anyhow I am leaving on a plane on Saturday and I have no idea what time. I haven't put one thought into packing and have made no plans with who I am going to go see. Those are usually the best trips. Man I'm going to miss my family though, and Baby Kitty, my house, my bed....my fireplace :)....

But, I go to find some magic, numinosity of a larger sense of things, finding some true connection to my soul, a spiritual awakening, to fill my vessel.... and when I return I will be... INSPIRED. Probably not, but I hope to at least be well fed and rested. And I hope this goddamn cold lets up. And if the plane crashes I am going to be pissed fuckin' off.