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I was awakened out of a dream. In it, I was at a lake/pool with my children and had just packed everything up for us to leave. Everything was in a grocery cart.. A girl was there from my past and was giving the kids a taco flavored poptart.... I heard my phone ring and in my dream I thought, "I'll never find it buried underneath all this crap ...." And then, I woke up and answered a sleepy, "hello." The voice on the other end said slurring, "ith kjhjsj 'dere?..... I'm like, what? "You have the wrong number.."
That's a terrible feeling to be awakened from a deep sleep to a phone call when your child is out for the night... My heart was pounding out of my chest. I hope whoever drunkenly called here prays to the porcelain god for forgiveness all day. Oh, and that they have a happy new year.
But I am up in the dark and it is quiet solace before the sun lights the day and the other people in the house start to move about. I never feel alone at this time, though I am completely. It almost always feels like nothing has happened yet that is too much of a concern. And this morning is no different and it is a new day, but also a new year.
Any resolutions you ask? Not a one. O.k., there is one. That this year will not be anything like last year. I can be guaranteed of that so I go ahead, and resolve it. It's just like the wish I make on my birthday candles for a million dollars. I figure if I'm going to wish, I'll make it a big wish.
Even though I don't have a million dollars yet, I do have a new year. For the moment anyway.
It is such a hopeful thing to make resolutions and wishes isn't it... And bold. It's an assurance almost that we'll keep breathing to make a mark this time, or that something will mark us to make a difference in our lives. And we are determined to move forward. This evolution thing is quite a driving force and a fooler too, but so pleasant in it's ability to allow us to think we are changing and finally making our stand, that something might happen or we might do something that will be special and unique.
But you know, it is different. Everything is different from a year ago. At least it seems that way.
That's a terrible feeling to be awakened from a deep sleep to a phone call when your child is out for the night... My heart was pounding out of my chest. I hope whoever drunkenly called here prays to the porcelain god for forgiveness all day. Oh, and that they have a happy new year.
But I am up in the dark and it is quiet solace before the sun lights the day and the other people in the house start to move about. I never feel alone at this time, though I am completely. It almost always feels like nothing has happened yet that is too much of a concern. And this morning is no different and it is a new day, but also a new year.
Any resolutions you ask? Not a one. O.k., there is one. That this year will not be anything like last year. I can be guaranteed of that so I go ahead, and resolve it. It's just like the wish I make on my birthday candles for a million dollars. I figure if I'm going to wish, I'll make it a big wish.
Even though I don't have a million dollars yet, I do have a new year. For the moment anyway.
It is such a hopeful thing to make resolutions and wishes isn't it... And bold. It's an assurance almost that we'll keep breathing to make a mark this time, or that something will mark us to make a difference in our lives. And we are determined to move forward. This evolution thing is quite a driving force and a fooler too, but so pleasant in it's ability to allow us to think we are changing and finally making our stand, that something might happen or we might do something that will be special and unique.
But you know, it is different. Everything is different from a year ago. At least it seems that way.
posted by SPOA | 6:22 AM
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