Growing away

Nicholas laying on his stomach on the bed while I was on my side reading and asking me what to do on New Year's Eve. I was like, "Well, what are your options?"

He said, "There is this party with this one girl, there is this party with this other girl, or then, I could go to Tim's and hang out with him at his house. But the one girl is beautiful..."

I went, "Who's the girl?" and he said, "...ohhhh, um...." and dropped his head on folded forearms trying to remember, and then, looked up, turned to me with a piece of hair across his eye and was like, "It starts with an S, I know it is S.S., like her initials are S.S. ..Stephanie, Stacey..."

I said, "It's said that whatever you're doing on New Year's Eve, it will be what you'll be doing for the rest of the year." I had no idea what that meant, but decided to relay it to him anyhow and it had an effect because he kind of pulled in his breath and looked at me open-mouthed and said, "No shit?"

"No shit."

"Oh wow, so like, what was I doing last year?"

"Dude, I have no idea. What were you doing last year?"

"...2006. 2006... I dunno. I think I was here."

"As in here? Here in the house? Huh-uh, no way did you spend New Year's Eve at home ~ I really, totally do not think so."

He was like, "So, what did I do then?"

I said, "I don't know, maybe you did.... I guess I could check my blog. It's turned into kind of a journal for me. When I forget where I was or what I was doing I refer to it often and it kind of leads me back to where I was then..."

In a little bit he said, "I know what I want to do..."

I said, "Ok what?"

He said, "Be here." And he pointed his finger downward and tapped out a brief yearning of wanting to stay home. I know what he means.

I was smiling at him when I shook my head and said, "You don't want to stay home on New Year's Eve..."

He said, "I love it here, I love my family..."

I told him, "I know you do." And with my fingers I brushed his hair away from his eye.