Written at another place last night, I'm bringing it here this morning (tweaked a little...). I want the kids to have it since they were there.
I planned all last week a birthday party for my dad. My sister Linda's idea, and I sort of picked up the ball and ran with it. My dad, at first, was the only one with a time conflict. He was expected to go to a birthday party at his neighbor's, Mary and Bill, for Bill's birthday: a big 60th bash for him that Mary had been planning for weeks. But Dad decided to go ahead and let me have the day, make it about him, and he told Mary he'd come over after we all left. And it was great, everyone came and the old guy loved it. He loved that we did this for him and that so many could come. We had about 35 people in all and he didn't even mind the mess :).
Mary came over this morning while I was there making preparations at his house. She was using his fridge to keep some things cold, stuff that she had made for Bill's party, and when I waved her in she hugged me and my sister, Cindy. Before this, when Mary was walking to the door and we saw her, Cin said real low, only to me, "Oh I don't like her!" But I said, "Oh I like Mary, Cin." I like her politics, her spunk, how she always dresses up for Halloween and drags Bill away from the t.v. when my kids come to trick or treat to make impressed clucking noises about their costumes. I thought to myself how she is always so optimistic and I wondered if we would ever have to see her sad? It was odd. I saw myself suddenly at Bill's funeral. And she was there, sad, and I hugged her, but the thought was over in a blink... you know how weird those kinds of fantasy thoughts are. I wonder why they happen?
But anyhow, she came by and we joked about how we would do this every year. Next year make it a block party :). She said she'd get the permit.. and then told us that Bill's real birthday is Tuesday. I guess Pop was over there in their hallway early this morning, before church, to drop a card to Bill, and as he was getting ready to leave, she told him to turn around and she and Bill sang the birthday song to him. He said he sang it back Bill :). Mary saw all the food we were putting out and asked us what we were having to eat, and we told her, cold cuts, sandwiches, salads, a potluck of different things others were to bring; easy, easy food. She named off her extensive menu and I couldn't help but feel she might be bragging, but I also thought she seemed a lot better prepared than me. I was fine with it though. I thought my little throw-it-together gathering was coming together nicely
And Pop's birthday was great, the food was good, the gifts, he really enjoyed it. I did, too, it was pleasant and lovely.
We cleaned up, getting lots of help.
Later Royce and I took the kids bowling (yes, bowling :)). My dammed achilles is giving me fits and I wish I never started running... But I wasn't terrible, and I beat Royce the first game. Cin and Ed came with their grandkids, Brandon and Jake, so we hung out at the lanes and played two games.
By the time it was over, I was exhausted and ready to go home and rest. My children were worn out from too much, too much this weekend, but before home, we had to go and get our other car at my dad's since we drove separately there for the party.
When we turned down the street to go back to my dad's house we saw police cars, and a cop standing outside of his cruiser held up his hand to stop us, and my dad was crossing the street from Mary's driveway to his. We were rubbernecking to see what the activity was all about, and I mumured to Royce, "Do you think their party got out of hand?" Royce was like, "I dunno..." The cops looked really grim.
When we'd left Dad's earlier, Bill's party was in full swing, people in the house and people in the garage, talking and laughing. It's been raining all day, but it didn't put damper on their celebration at all. So many cars between our party and theirs, I was thinking next year we'll have to put up signs for parking...
When the policeman let our truck through after he let my dad cross the street, Royce parked it and I jumped out and went up to Pop as he stood in his driveway where he was talking to other neighbors. I heard my dad say to them, "...he was already blue..." . I said, "Who?" He looked at me and said sadly, "Bill." I gasped, "He died??" He was like, "Yes...."
Oh my god. How?
Apparently Bill left the party and everyone was wondering where he'd gone and Mary went to look for him. She knocked on the bathroom door and didn't get an answer. When she walked in, she found him on the floor. As my dad said, he was already blue. ("An Elvis death." My first thought).
They called 911 and they arrived in about 3 minutes, brought in the equipment to save him, but he was already gone.
Can you even imagine? What a terrible loss for poor Mary. She and Bill had both just retired this Summer and had been traveling and planning more travel. It is so heartbreaking. I mean, could you even think to imagine in the morning as you are preparing a birthday party for your beloved that it would be your last day together on earth? It's crazy, isn't it?
What was so weird to me, too, and I told my dad this, about the thought I'd had earlier when I saw Mary.. In my mind, admiring her for her wonderful enthusiasm, but also seeing myself (in my mind) hugging her at Bill's funeral. My dad didn't blink a vacant eye at me when I told him because I'm sure he could not hear what I was telling him. It was all pretty shocking, the death and the day; but he also doesn't like to talk about things like that.
(sigh) Well, that's what I got for today. A pretty interesting day, running the gamut of emotion.
I was glad for Bill never to have lived to suffer poor health. I sent a prayer to him in thanks for his kindness and neighborliness to my dad all these years, also telling him how happy I was for him that he was surrounded by his friends, children, grandchildren and people who loved him, all celebrating his life with him when he died. I said to him, 'even caught with our pants down, we should all be so lucky....'
I planned all last week a birthday party for my dad. My sister Linda's idea, and I sort of picked up the ball and ran with it. My dad, at first, was the only one with a time conflict. He was expected to go to a birthday party at his neighbor's, Mary and Bill, for Bill's birthday: a big 60th bash for him that Mary had been planning for weeks. But Dad decided to go ahead and let me have the day, make it about him, and he told Mary he'd come over after we all left. And it was great, everyone came and the old guy loved it. He loved that we did this for him and that so many could come. We had about 35 people in all and he didn't even mind the mess :).
Mary came over this morning while I was there making preparations at his house. She was using his fridge to keep some things cold, stuff that she had made for Bill's party, and when I waved her in she hugged me and my sister, Cindy. Before this, when Mary was walking to the door and we saw her, Cin said real low, only to me, "Oh I don't like her!" But I said, "Oh I like Mary, Cin." I like her politics, her spunk, how she always dresses up for Halloween and drags Bill away from the t.v. when my kids come to trick or treat to make impressed clucking noises about their costumes. I thought to myself how she is always so optimistic and I wondered if we would ever have to see her sad? It was odd. I saw myself suddenly at Bill's funeral. And she was there, sad, and I hugged her, but the thought was over in a blink... you know how weird those kinds of fantasy thoughts are. I wonder why they happen?
But anyhow, she came by and we joked about how we would do this every year. Next year make it a block party :). She said she'd get the permit.. and then told us that Bill's real birthday is Tuesday. I guess Pop was over there in their hallway early this morning, before church, to drop a card to Bill, and as he was getting ready to leave, she told him to turn around and she and Bill sang the birthday song to him. He said he sang it back Bill :). Mary saw all the food we were putting out and asked us what we were having to eat, and we told her, cold cuts, sandwiches, salads, a potluck of different things others were to bring; easy, easy food. She named off her extensive menu and I couldn't help but feel she might be bragging, but I also thought she seemed a lot better prepared than me. I was fine with it though. I thought my little throw-it-together gathering was coming together nicely
And Pop's birthday was great, the food was good, the gifts, he really enjoyed it. I did, too, it was pleasant and lovely.
We cleaned up, getting lots of help.
Later Royce and I took the kids bowling (yes, bowling :)). My dammed achilles is giving me fits and I wish I never started running... But I wasn't terrible, and I beat Royce the first game. Cin and Ed came with their grandkids, Brandon and Jake, so we hung out at the lanes and played two games.
By the time it was over, I was exhausted and ready to go home and rest. My children were worn out from too much, too much this weekend, but before home, we had to go and get our other car at my dad's since we drove separately there for the party.
When we turned down the street to go back to my dad's house we saw police cars, and a cop standing outside of his cruiser held up his hand to stop us, and my dad was crossing the street from Mary's driveway to his. We were rubbernecking to see what the activity was all about, and I mumured to Royce, "Do you think their party got out of hand?" Royce was like, "I dunno..." The cops looked really grim.
When we'd left Dad's earlier, Bill's party was in full swing, people in the house and people in the garage, talking and laughing. It's been raining all day, but it didn't put damper on their celebration at all. So many cars between our party and theirs, I was thinking next year we'll have to put up signs for parking...
When the policeman let our truck through after he let my dad cross the street, Royce parked it and I jumped out and went up to Pop as he stood in his driveway where he was talking to other neighbors. I heard my dad say to them, "...he was already blue..." . I said, "Who?" He looked at me and said sadly, "Bill." I gasped, "He died??" He was like, "Yes...."
Oh my god. How?
Apparently Bill left the party and everyone was wondering where he'd gone and Mary went to look for him. She knocked on the bathroom door and didn't get an answer. When she walked in, she found him on the floor. As my dad said, he was already blue. ("An Elvis death." My first thought).
They called 911 and they arrived in about 3 minutes, brought in the equipment to save him, but he was already gone.
Can you even imagine? What a terrible loss for poor Mary. She and Bill had both just retired this Summer and had been traveling and planning more travel. It is so heartbreaking. I mean, could you even think to imagine in the morning as you are preparing a birthday party for your beloved that it would be your last day together on earth? It's crazy, isn't it?
What was so weird to me, too, and I told my dad this, about the thought I'd had earlier when I saw Mary.. In my mind, admiring her for her wonderful enthusiasm, but also seeing myself (in my mind) hugging her at Bill's funeral. My dad didn't blink a vacant eye at me when I told him because I'm sure he could not hear what I was telling him. It was all pretty shocking, the death and the day; but he also doesn't like to talk about things like that.
(sigh) Well, that's what I got for today. A pretty interesting day, running the gamut of emotion.
I was glad for Bill never to have lived to suffer poor health. I sent a prayer to him in thanks for his kindness and neighborliness to my dad all these years, also telling him how happy I was for him that he was surrounded by his friends, children, grandchildren and people who loved him, all celebrating his life with him when he died. I said to him, 'even caught with our pants down, we should all be so lucky....'
posted by SPOA | 6:30 AM
2 Comments:
What a strange premonition - isn't it disconcerting when something like that happens! Well, I don't think I said "I don't like her" - if I did, it wasn't quite what I meant. I don't really even know Mary that well. The "oh no, I can't stand her" was about how loud and talkative she can be, overwhelming to me sometimes. I do know that she and Bill have been good neighbors to our dad. We should all be so fortunate as to spend our final moments surrounded by the people we love; but how very shocking and sad for those left behind.
I know anonymous, it is sad. Junior wrote to me last night and on Sunday he and Ed were outside of dad's house smoking, and he told me that a man was across the street, kind of stumbling. He was heavy, light brown hair and moustache, and Jim said to Ed, "There is a heart attack waiting to happen." He wonders if it was Bill? That would be strange.
Ok I can't stand her is much different than I don't like her... lol. But yeah, I gotcha, she can be spirited. I think nothing is more grating, or draining, for introverts like us to be with an extrovert for an extended period of time.
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