One of the ways I've found to keep my kids out of my room when I'm writing is to remain completely naked. It really works.

Nick taught us a game this week so we are dog-eat-dog while we are driving and looking for all-yellow vehicles on wheels. That's the trick: Whoever sees one yells "Bongo," for a point. Yellow on wheels = one point. We keep track of our own score so I'm ahead by a mile right now.

I'm home this morning to prep for our long-weekend camping trip at Kelley's Island on Lake Erie. We'll be taking the bikes to spin around the bike trails and hiking shoes to wander the paths. The campsite is very close to the beach so the kids will enjoy waking up to the sound of water, I think, and the anticipation of a morning swim. I'm looking forward to laying back and reading and I enjoy cooking meals outside. This will be as close to living outside as I can get this season since we have been working so much. I think I'm content with that.

After work yesterday I took the kids on an errand with me and we were in a particularly busy part of town, in rush hour traffic and as I was driving I saw a family, this is a family from Peru who I know, they were pulled over in their van at the curb. The husband was walking around from the passenger side to speak with his wife who was looking under the rear bumper at what I thought was probably the exhaust which had fallen off and was scraping the ground. My first thought was to pull over in front of them to give them a hand, and I almost did, I even turned the steering wheel just a bit, but for whatever reason, I didn't.

I was tired, I know that. I was also not eager to try to communicate with the wife who knows only a little english. I was tired of being in traffic and I wanted to get home. So, well, I kept driving and the entire time I was troubled by my decision not to help, because you know, I can help people with car issues. I not only have the ability to help them at the place they are, but I have the means to help them if the problem can't be fixed right away. So as I drove further away from them and I was plagued by these thoughts, I also managed to acknowledge that I am still informed by God, even though I know longer believe in him. This is frustrating. But, it also could be it's one of those things that just live in us, I think, that is seemingly a part of our development as we've become aware. Joseph Campbell said in one of his lectures that perhaps the reason we seem compelled to want to help is that we feel the extension of ourselves within others; so, helping others helps us. It's kind of the Gaia principle, and how we are one organism or some such thing. But I have to admit, I still feel guilt. And from a selfish perspective, I suppose I still fear punishment if I don't do the right thing.

I turned around in a parking lot having driven about a mile or so away from the Peruvian folks, and Lea said to me, "What are you doing?" and I said, "Going back." And she went, "Oh god mom!" I told her, "You know what Lea? We are given a chance in each moment to make a right choice.. and for some reason I have to believe that."

And then I said, "By the way, 'Bongo.'" I pointed to a kid dressed in yellow riding a bike on the sidewalk next to us. She shook her head and was like, "No, mom. The BIKE has to be all yellow for it to be a 'Bongo.'"

I took my point anyhow and went back to see what I could do, and ofcourse, they were pulling away as I arrived.