Two for Tuesday

First one is Steven. When we were heading through the parking lot I said, "Here we go Steven, let's go honey." And he was pretending like he couldn't hear me (ok, please, for one minute imagine: This towheaded child who will not cut his hair in camoflauge feet pajamas and rubber boots, and the usual zippy sounding coat). He was walking haphazardly and I said, "Steven someone is going to run you over." So he pretended that he was trying to feel his way toward me and like a robot goes, "I can't think. My brain is devoid of anything, but elevator music."

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Second thing I am totally going to bop my father on the head when I see him in February.
I called him and demanded, "Where are you?"
He goes, "Um, well...."
I'm like, "Dude, you better not say Arizona."
He's like, "Uhhh.."
"I cannot believe that you are in Arizona and did not call me before you left."
He went, "Um, did you check your email?"
I went, "Um, are you in Arizona."
He goes, "Yes. Yes I am."
"I am totally going to kill you when I see you."
He said, "Well check your email."
I said, "I don't want email, I want a phone call!"
And then he goes, get this, "We're on the phone now."
Argh.

Ok what are you doing?
Getting ready to walk out the door.
In Arizona?
Yes in Arizona.
Are you going to be busy?
Yes until you come.
And then what?
Then I'll have fun.

Hrmmmm.... Ok. You're off the hook.