Sunday Morning Coming Down

I was whispering this morning with Royce about nothing-somethings while laying in bed, and then interrupting our conversational meandering, I mentioned how nice it was to be talking about something besides work.

We talk about work all the time, especially recently since we've been having something of a rough road. I was saying to him that I wish I could remember things better, but the stress of just living workday to workday, mothering to wifing, to houseworking to animal caregiving, to friending to daughtering to sistering, it has me out of balance.

I came to the conclusion  that one must be a tiger with her cubs when it comes to personal space, and not to give too much of oneself away. People or things that need us will eat our energy if we choose to let them, and then there's just not enough left to function, or to think.

Or to think well.
Which is a problem.

I must admit that I do like to fall in bed spent. I like to be completely exhausted by the time I hit the pillow. I do. I like to know that I gave each day my everything, but it does come to a point where I've overdone all that I can do, and I need to pull back, put out all stops and grab onto Sunday like it's the only quiet life raft in a raging week-filled ocean.

I'm doing that today.

Respite.

But, I also decided that I need to start using the blog again. I need to start marking off the days with remembering. I'm so grateful to myself for writing the things I did all those years ago so I could return here and remember my growth.

Now that I know who I am... I want to use the blog for today's memories. I'll then have them in a safe place when life is so much, that it's consumed by the day-to-day and I've forgotten what really happened. I don't want to foget the truly important things because they've been overshadowed by the stress of just getting by. There are so many things that happen that are special and lovely, and they need to be remembered so it isn't just about working and giving  life away, but it's about how I spent my time in the balance of it all.

Remember:

• Steven Deehr and the writing about him in 2006 blog. The one with Tina and walking along the railroad track. Rest in Peace, Steve.
• Walking with Daisy toward the woods this morning after sleeping in. Fifi zooming at us and around and up a tree, happy and playful because she just loves to eat!
• Remember the scene in Cloud Atlas, the movie, where the woman was making love to the dude. That was special. That joining, like a transformation. I loved that film. I'm going to go see it again.
• A Sunday off after a long, long week of work. Using it wisely if I still know how.
• Niece Elizabeth bringing us treats yesterday at the shop because I missed a family party.
• Opening to the possibility of something new. Choosing to change. Coming together to find a new way of doing something. The first day of the rest of our lives.
• Do not buy the pizza in the Deli section at Kroger ever again.
• Beautiful early Christmas gifts from my dear ones, Lea and Sarah. I'm so thankful for those girls.
• Pulling burrs off Baby Kitty as she just lays there, stretches out and upside down while I pick at her. She's old but still soft and cuddly and loves to be messed with.
• The photo in Runner's World of the woman running in the snow capped red rock of Sedona that Royce handed to me before he set off for his morning run. He kissed me once, came back, and kissed me again.